It's pretty crazy how Earth is so dominant,
in the Miss Universe pageants. |
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I'm trying to do a self portrait,
but can't get myself to stop moving my arms. |
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Duck Duck Goose,
sounds like an adorable law firm. |
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Future civilizations will think that all dinosaurs died,
while attacking museums. |
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The key to a successful relationship is finding somebody,
who likes all the mixed nuts that you don't. |
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My favorite yoga pose is,
Downward Facing Nap. |
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| Is popcorn a vegetable? |
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| Accidentally did a sloth impression all day today. |
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I wish everything I touched turned to gold,
instead of just getting Dorito powder on it. |
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I'm the best napper.
I could out-nap you in my sleep. |
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Naps are like practice sleeping.
Gotta get some training in, cause tonight I go live. |
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New studies indicate that a picture is actually worth,
closer to 920-925 words. |
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| My favorite mixed drink is one part whiskey, two parts whiskey. |
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| Judging by the way he kisses, I'd say your dog is from France. |
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| I'm going broke celebrating my dog's birthday 7 times a year. |
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| Somebody start a Kickstarter to put tiny capes on flying squirrels. |
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| All that glitters is not gold. A good example: glitter. |
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If you think of your bedroom floor as a big drawer,
then your room is always clean. |
